In July of last year I was fired or "downsized" (whatever). It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had stayed in that job not due to any passion but because it was a "grown up" job. I thought I'd reached an age where doing something new was foolish and I trapped myself. It's amazing all of the chains we add to our lives. We say "I've got to be a grown up." Who says?! What is an adult? I remember being a kid and running through sprinklers half naked. My mom has told me how I used to run to the ocean and laugh as the waves knocked me down. Now I can't even fathom that girl. At some point ( I wish I knew exactly when) most people lose that sense of freedom that being human brings. Everything is within our grasp we just weighed ourselves down with so many doubts, we can't move.
The moment I released the weight of that job, my whole world opened. Not just with my career. I could do anything! One thing that I am so thankful for is reconnecting with my church. My faith has always been a part of my life (sometimes apart from my life) but I've neglected building a relationship with others because I was afraid of how they'd view me or I wouldn't fit their mold. I've found an amazing group of people that I'm slowly letting in and it's getting less scary everyday. <<<<side note>>>> My faith will be a part of my blog and I need you to know I love you for EXACTLY who you are. I'm often nervous to share my faith because of how others who claim to be Christian use a twisted and manipulated doctrine to hurt people. I'm not them, don't judge me by their actions and I won't judge you by the actions of your next door neighbor's sister's boyfriend's dog walker (b/c that's how far their actions are from mine)<<<<<
Over the last year I lost my job and downsized my possessions by more than half. I've reignited my faith. I've restarted my education. I used to joke, "The only thing constant is change." I said it but I fought it with every fiber of my being. Everything has a place and everything in its place. I'm still fighting the urge to stick my feet back in the mud but every time I take a step forward it gets easier to keep going. Inertia..."The vis insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavours to preserve its present state, whether it be of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line." Newton may not have known it but he was talking about more than a physical body.
I hope someone reads this and can see a little bit of the truth but this is mostly a selfish endeavor. I'm doing this to keep myself accountable to me. I am setting a goal for myself, blog once a week. I can't promise I'll succeed but I'm getting better at keeping promises to myself. I might post a recipe, write about my life, wax philosophic, do whatever I want!
